Mirror, mirror
by Kody Wright
Summary: Sam and Daniel have switched bodies and must live each other's lives. Jack becomes more of a pain than before and Sam finds out living as a man is more difficult than she believed. Go ahead, flame away...I already received one flame...Let the games begin.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Once again SG-1, pacifically Sam Carter and Daniel Jackson, had stumbled across alien technology that worked to their disadvantage. An alien device capable of capturing the conscious mind and transferring that mind into a new body…Except they accidentally triggered the device and transferred their minds into each other's bodies.

Colonel Jack O'Neill sat in the briefing with General Hammond and Dr. Janet Frasier trying to wrap his head around the accident and the result.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What?" asked Jack, "Daniel is in Carter's body and Carter is in Daniel's?"

Frasier nodded, "Yes, that's exactly it."

Hammond asked, "Can this be reversed, Dr. Frasier?"

"I suppose but it will take some research," she replied.

"How long do you think this could last?" asked Hammond.

She shrugged, "I have no idea, sir."

Jack placed his palm against his forehead and tried to comprehend the situation, "So…Carter is now Daniel and Daniel is now Carter."

"Just physically," she assured.

Hammond asked, "How are they taking this, Dr. Frasier?"

She shrugged, "As good as can be expected."

**Infirmary**

Daniel and Sam both stood before the mirror in the infirmary looking at themselves. They were now dressed in white scrubs and neither could believe their eyes for they stared at the reflection of the other.

Sam touched the cheek of Daniel's face; she squirmed, "This is weird."

He felt her hair as he peered into the mirror, "You can say that again."

"I can find a way to fix this," assured Sam.

Daniel sighed, "I hope so. I would kind of like my body back."

"Me too," agreed Sam.

Daniel looked upon the mirror, "Mirror, mirror on the wall."

Sam added, "Will I get my body back after all?"

Daniel assured, "We will fix this. We will find a way."

Sam looked at him in her body and suggested, "Otherwise…"

Daniel shook his head, "No, Sam…No other wise. We can reverse this."

Sam asked, "What do we do in the mean time? I don't know how long we will be trapped like this."

"You take care of my body and I take care of yours," suggested Daniel.

Sam reluctantly agreed, "I suppose it could be worse."

"How so?" asked Daniel.

"Could have switched with the Colonel," she implied.

Daniel shivered, "Can you imagine what he would do to my body?"

Sam asked, "Can you imagine what he would do to mine?"

Daniel assured her, "I will not let anything happen to your body…I promise."

"I know you won't," she agreed. "And I will take care of yours." She patted the stomach, "You could drop a few pounds."

He asked, "You think so?"

She nodded.

He wondered, "Is there anything I should know about yours? Allergies? Things like that?"

She nodded, "I have to be careful with fruit with seeds…Goes right through me."

"Good to know," he nodded.

She added, "I'm on herbal tea now to get off the coffee."

Daniel pouted, "No coffee?"

"I'm trying to cut back," she replied. "And keep away from chocolate too."

"I don't eat candy," he reminded.

She simply smiled, "You will."

**Later**

The pair was allowed to change back into their blue BDU's and return to some form of work while Dr. Frasier agreed to help Sam find a way to reverse the situation. They opted to change name badges to help the people in the SGC keep track of who they were speaking too…Well, more like help Jack keep track of who he was speaking too.

Daniel, now in Sam's body, returned to his office and tried to get some work done. So far, Daniel had not had any major issues with Sam's body. His biggest issue of the day was forcing himself to use the ladies' room to relive himself.

He found the ladies' room was much nicer than the men's room. He also discovered the new found privacy of having many more stalls to separate the women. He was able to adapt to sitting to relive himself with much ease and his biggest issue was getting the toilet paper off the roll without it tearing.

He stood in his office, in Sam Carter's body, reading over text hoping that soon this physical mix up would be fixed.

Jack came to his office and walked inside. He had his hand in his pockets of his green BDU's as he squinted wondering if it was really Daniel or if perhaps, Carter and Daniel were playing joke rude joke on him. No, it couldn't be a joke.

"Daniel?" he asked.

He looked up, "Hey Jack."

It was weird; Sam's body looked up and spoke as if she was Daniel. He jerked his head back and then forced himself to come to grips.

"That's weird," he informed.

Daniel puckered in thought, "What is? That I'm in Sam's body?"

He replied, "That you are in Carter's body and called me 'Jack.'"

Daniel huffed, "I'm not calling you 'sir.'" He then went on, "though there are a few other choice words I could call you."

"Such as?" asked Jack.

"Ass," mentioned Daniel.

He waved his finger, "See, now that's what makes it weird…Carter would call me an 'ass.'"

Daniel huffed, "I'm not Sam, Jack."

"Okay," he nodded, "Got it." He then started to fiddle with some of Daniel's artifacts as he searched for how to address his burning curiosity.

Annoyed Daniel asked, "Is there something you want, Jack?"

"No," he shook his head then casually moved closer, "What's it like?"

"What is what like?" asked Daniel even more annoyed.

Jack waved, "Being in Carter's body!"

He shrugged, "It's a body, jack. A body that belongs to a very good friend and I intend to keep it healthy and safe while she's away."

Jack asked, "Didn't you…"

"Do what?" he asked figuring where it was going.

Jack made a cupping motion with his hands, "You know…Check it out?"

"No," he sneered. "I would never do that to her."

Jack's shoulders slunk, "You mean to tell me that you get to be in a woman's body and wouldn't check it out?"

Daniel grew angry, "Amazing as it may sound…No, Jack…I would not do that to her."

Jack pondered, "Ya think she might be checking you out?"

Daniel shot a look, "No!"

**Meanwhile**

Sam suddenly had to relieve herself and unfortunately was forced to use the men's room. She stood outside the door too afraid to go into enemy territory for it was certainly taboo to enter such a place. She had to go pee badly and decided to risk it. She sucked a deep breath and pushed the door open and entered a world more bizarre than any world that the gate could bring her too.

The men's room was a mess. It smelled terrible and stained urinals lined the wall. Most of the stalls had no doors and men walked about taking care of their own business. She walked up to the wall of urinals and clenched her teeth and her fist.

"You can do this," she coached herself. She went for the zipper and got it partially down when Teal'c entered the restroom.

He walked up to the urinals and spotted Sam, in Daniel's body, trying very hard to fit in. He thought he would give her some advice and thus walked up to the urinal next to her.

"Major Carter," he nodded.

She stood to afraid to move, "Teal'c…What are you doing here?"

"I have come to use the urinal," he informed and proceeded to go about the business at hand.

She asked, "Can you not do that while I am here?"

"You are having difficulty, Major?" asked he.

She nodded, "I never peed standing up before."

"You simply aim," he informed. He finished up his business and zipped back up his trousers.

Sam still stood frozen and too scared to proceed.

Teal'c suggested, "Perhaps, Dr. Frasier could help if you are having difficulty urinating."

Sam stated, "I'm sure I can handle it."

"Very well," he gave a nod and went to the sink area.

Sam gulped and she found she was now forced to touch an area on Daniel's body that she never thought she would have to touch. She stood with the most disturbed look as she managed to urinate in the urinal.

She looked at the wall and asked herself, "How do guys pee like this?" She sighed when it was over and then went to the sink to wash.

Sam soon left the restroom and went to her office. She found Janet waiting for her.

"Janet," she greeted her friend.

Janet sat on a stool sipping a cup of coffee and grinned back, "So, how's it going so far?"

"I just went to the men's room," she confessed.

Janet asked curiously, "Oh, what's it like in there?"

"It's a disgusting pit," she huffed. "It stinks too." She went to her chair and took a seat. "So, how is Daniel holding up?"

She laughed, "I saw him in the ladies' room." She pondered in thought, "That's why he commented on how clean it was."

Sam asked, "He's not doing anything strange with my body?"

Janet shook her head, "Nope…He even took the time to brush your hair in the mirror…He kind of like the ladies' room."

"After seeing the men's' room…I kind of like the ladies' room too," admitted Sam.

Janet became meek and asked, "What was it like to pee standing up?"

Sam pondered, "I think it will take some getting used to."

"Gotta admit, it would a nifty ability in the field," stated Janet.

"I suppose," agreed Sam. "But…It's weird…It's Daniel's body and I'm in it."

Janet laughed, "I know a number of women who give anything to be that body right now….Just so they can play with it."

"Daniel and I have an agreement. He will take care of my body and I will take care of his. Matter of fact, I'm gonna get him to lose some belly fat."

"Get him off the caffeine," suggested Janet. "That way when he gets it back he won't have any excuse as to why he can't drink decaf."

"I will try," agreed Sam.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Next Morning**

Sam had woken up at her normal time. The effects of the caffeine that Daniel was accustomed to was evident as she stumbled about and stubbed the big toe.

"Ouch," she complained.

She turned on the light in his quarters for they decided it was best to switch rooms as their clothing would no longer fit and personal amenities, like razors and tooth brushes would be in the other's possession.

She went to his dresser to get clothes for the day, as well as what she would need in the dreaded men's room. The first thing she noticed was just how blind was as his image in the mirror was blurry. She placed the eyeglasses on to focus.

"That's better," she noted. She then looked at his messy hair and stubbly face. She touched the whiskers and discovered they were thick and scratchy.

"Wow, men have really thick beards," she noted assuming it would not be so bad. She grabbed his shaving kit, his tooth brush, comb, towel and clothing and headed to the men's locker room to get ready for the day.

Upon entering the room she found lockers, in one room and a community shower in another. She paused for she assumed the men would have the same luxury of single showers as the much smaller women's locker room. She never thought the men's locker room would be much bigger due to the sheer volume of men on the base. She found his locker and placed his clothing for the day inside.

Jack had walked up the locker next to Daniel's and placed his own things in for he too was there to get ready for the day; he greeted, "Daniel…" he shook his head, "Wait a minute…Carter."

"Morning sir," she nodded very unsure of the new challenge that lay before her. She never showered with a bunch of men before nor had ever shaved her face.

Jack suddenly realized Sam had never been in the men's locker room before and he grinned as he put his things away.

"How's it going?" he asked.

She shrugged, "As well as to be expected. I never knew it was so big in here," she admitted.

He nodded, "The women's locker room is one forth the size. Ratio to men and women are ten to one on the base."

She mentioned, "The ladies' showers are all separate."

He nodded, "Hammond's doing…He figured since we have the budget and less women on the base than men, all you ladies would like that."

She asked, "So, the women having nicer rest rooms, locker rooms and showers was all General Hammond's doing?"

He nodded, "He's an old softy when comes to the women on the base."

"I wasn't aware he had done so much for us," she admitted. "I always assumed you guys had the same."

He shook his head displeased, "Nope, the guys get crap-ola as usual. So, this means Daniel gets his own private shower this morning in the ladies locker room…Bastard!" he began to take his shirt off.

Sam asked, "Sir, what are you doing?"

"Getting ready to hit the showers," he replied starting to undress, "Where flip-flops in there. The floor is disgusting."

She gulped, "I have to shower with you…In there?" she asked.

He laughed, "Don't worry, Carter…You're in Daniel's body. There is nothing you have that I haven't already seen." He stood naked next to her holding his towel and amenities bag.

She blushed and tried not to look at him, "Sir…Um…"

Jack informed, "Carter, you about to shower with about fifty naked men…Now is not the time to get bashful."

She gulped, "Yes sir."

He suggested, "Just stick with me and I'll show you through it. You ever shave before….Other than your legs?"

"Not my face," she admitted.

"I'll help ya with that," he suggested.

Sam nodded, "That would be appreciated." She then simply stood still not sure what to do next.

Jack told her, "Get undressed…You're not going in the showers like that."

"Yes sir," she moaned and proceeded to undress Daniel's body.

**Meanwhile**

Daniel woke up in Sam's room and realized he wasn't nearly as tired as she rebounded from sleep much faster than he did. He also discovered he no longer needed glasses to see. He looked in the mirror of Sam's dresser and found her hair was a mess. He brushed it out and figured he would be good to go. He looked about for her amenities bag and found two bags.

"Makeup?" he asked displeased upon peering inside. He looked at Sam's face in the mirror and realized she indeed wear cosmetics. He made a face and pondered, "I don't know how to wear that stuff. Hmm, does Sam really need it?" He looked at her profile and shook his head, "She doesn't need it. She looks fine." He rubbed the chin, "I don't to shave today. Thank god, I hate shaving." He grabbed her amenities bag but left the cosmetics as he headed towards the ladies' locker rooms to get ready for the day. He walked inside the room and spotted Janet at a locker. The first thing he noticed was it wasn't nearly as busy as the men's room and was also much nicer.

"Morning Janet," he greeted as he found Sam's locker was next to his friend.

Janet smiled, "Good morning, Daniel….Or did you two switch back in your sleep by some miracle?"

He shook his head, "Nope, still me." He then opened the locker, "So, Sam's got a locker right next to yours." He peered inside, "Who are these kids?"

"Her niece and nephew," she informed.

"Ah," he nodded, "the showers?" he asked.

She nodded.

"You got private showers with nice curtains and everything?" he asked amazed.

Janet nodded, "Well, yeah…What does the guys have?"

"One big community shower that is disgusting," he informed. "You have to wear flip flops to protect your feet."

"Really?' she asked astonished. "I had no idea…Sam has to shower in a community shower full of men?"

He nodded, "Yup, the men's locker room isn't nearly this nice."

Janet wondered concerned, "Maybe I should give permission for her to use the medical facility?"

"Why?" he asked.

"Because Sam shouldn't be showering a room full of men," stated Janet. "I assumed your locker room had individual showers like ours."

Daniel wondered, "Why shouldn't she be showing in with the other guys? She has my body!"

"But Sam is a woman," she rebutted.

"Not right now,' he retorted. "She's one of the guys right now. If I were to go into that room with this body…Then we would have a problem."

Janet stated concerned, "But she never showered with a bunch of men before."

Daniel shrugged, "That's the way the men's locker room is set up. Why should Sam get a special privilege of using the medical facility when no one else does? She not in her body…She's in my body and Jack is with her along with Teal'c. You think those two are gonna let anything happen to her in there?"

Janet agreed, "I know the Colonel and Teal'c will watch out for her…But she's never been surrounded by a large number of naked men before."

Daniel asked, "So, it's not okay for Sam to be surrounded by a large number of naked men but its okay if I am?"

"You're a man," she huffed.

Daniel drew the collar of the tee-shirt back and peeked down, "Not today."

Janet scolded, "Don't you go looking at her breast."

"You think she's not looking at my body?" he laughed.

"Fine," she soured. "Did you bring everything she needs?"

He nodded, "I got it all right here...Her clothes, including underwear, her toothbrush and toothpaste, her shampoo, conditioner, soap, and this bath scrub-thing."

Janet asked, "Did you bring panty liners and her cosmetics?"

He stood confused, "No."

"And why not?" she scolded.

"Does she really need those things?" he wondered.

"Yes," stated Janet.

Daniel rebutted, "First of all…I don't wear cosmetics and secondly…Sam doesn't need it. I looked at her face real good this morning and she's fine. Why does she need panty liners anyways?"

Janet placed her head in her palm and replied, "Okay…Never argue with a man in a woman's body" She then went to tend to herself.

As Daniel started to get ready to take a shower he started to ponder the origins of women wearing cosmetics. He never thought about it before but suddenly he wondered where it came from.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Commissary**

SG-1 and Dr. Frasier all met in the dining hall for breakfast. The hall was much nicer than most, nearly a café style but it served food in much the same fashion as a traditional mess hall.

They sat at the table eating breakfast and Sam looked at her face and noticed something unusual.

"Daniel?" she asked.

"What?" he replied.

She asked, "Where is my makeup?"

Janet giggled to herself.

Daniel replied, "You don't need it and I have no idea how to wear it."

She rebutted, "But I always wear makeup."

He shrugged, "Hey, I have no idea how to put that stuff on."

Jack had no idea either but found another avenue to pick on Daniel; he stated, "It can't be that hard, Daniel…Et."

Daniel shot him a look, "Really? Have you worn makeup before, Jack? And if you have, I would love to hear the story."

Jack shook his head, "Nope."

"Then shut up," he miffed.

Sam suggested, "I could teach you, Daniel."

He held up his hand, "I would rather not." He then looked at his face, "Did you cut me shaving?"

"I got a few nicks," she admitted.

"That's because she tried shaving with her eyes closed," noted Jack.

Janet scolded, "It wasn't until this morning did I find out that Sam would have to shower with a bunch of naked men. For now on…She can use the medical facility."

Jack scoffed, "No way. Why should she get a special bath facility and the rest of us stuck in that pit?"

"Because she's a woman," rebutted Janet.

Jack disagreed, "Right now…She's Daniel."

Sam held up her hand, "It's okay, Janet…Daniel uses these facilities all the time and I can get used to it."

"What?" Janet asked, "Get used to it? You shouldn't be showering with a bunch of men."

Sam had to admit, "It's not that bad."

Daniel gave a funny look, "If I were you I would jump at the chance to use the private facility in medical."

Sam replied, "If you can do this then I can do it. I spent my whole life proving I could do anything a man could do. And now…I in a man's body and I can't use the showers? No, I can overcome this."

Jack asked, "You sure that's it? I mean…If I were in a woman's body and had to shower with a bunch of girls…I would want to stay too."

Sam informed, "Standing in a shower with fifty naked men is not every woman's dream, sir."

Janet laughed, "Standing in a shower with fifty naked women is every man's dream."

Daniel disagreed, "Not mine."

Jack snorted, "Daniel…After watching Carter in your body and finding that sometimes I cannot tell you two apart, I have come to the conclusion that you a woman in a man's body."

Daniel sneered, "Very funny, Jack."

Janet then mentioned, "What are we going to do about that officer's dance coming up this weekend?"

Sam gasped, "Oh no…I forgot about that…I have to go…I'm getting a citation."

Janet added, "And Daniel is supposed to be my date for the night."

Jack chuckled, "Looks like Carter is you date, Frasier."

Daniel was getting very irritated and saw an opportunity to get even; he smirked, "That's alright, Jack…I can be your date."

Jack sat and pondered, "Um…"

Janet agreed, "We really no other choice. Sam can't go as herself and Daniel will have to go as her and receive the citation. Sam will go as Daniel and my date."

Jack huffed, "I'm not taking Daniel as a date."

He sneered back, "Oh, yes you are."

Sam added, "We do need to contain this and keep a cover. You should escort Daniel as me, sir."

Jack gulped, "Damn."

**Later**

Later that afternoon Daniel found he was having cramps. It most odd cramps for it didn't seem like intestinal cramps. He thought it was perhaps something he ate but the cramps seemed to come and go.

Concerned that perhaps he ate something with seeds that irritated Sam's gut he went to the ladies room and went to sit down on the toilet. His eyes settled on the bloody spotting in the underwear.

His stuck up the bottom lip in thought, "That's not what I think it is?" he stood and stared at it too afraid to touch the bloody area. "That is what I think it is. Um," he started to dig through the pockets. "What am I supposed to do?"

Daniel couldn't find anything that resembled a famine product on his person and as a last resort took a wade of toilet paper and placed it on the crotch of the underwear. He then found the cramps were getting worse and decided he better get to the infirmary.

Daniel walked quickly through the halls with a huge wade of toilet paper temporality being used a pad. He wanted to hurry and get to Janet before anything bleed through but soon found his new nemesis, Jack had come up behind him in the hall.

Jack found Daniel was walking fast but didn't know why. He caught up to him and attempted to gain information.

"What's up, Daniel?"

Daniel didn't stop walking but cringed, "Nothing…Leave me alone."

"Where ya going?" he asked.

"To see Janet," he informed.

"Something wrong?" he asked curiously.

Daniel suddenly felt a massive amount of rage and came to a halt; he turned to his friend and sneered, "Yes! Something is wrong. Right now I am walking through the halls of the SGC with a wad of toilet paper in my crotch and an ass is following me."

Jack stepped back in surprise; he stuttered, "Um?" He wasn't sure what to say. He asked, "Why do you have a wad of toilet paper in your pants?"

He snorted, "Because I got Sam's period. Would you like to come to see Dr. Frasier with me about this?"

Jack's eyes grew wide, "Nope," he shook his head.

Daniel's growled, "Then get the hell out of my way or I will do bodily injury to you."

Jack held up his hands, "Whoa, Daniel…Easy."

Daniel pointed his finger as the rage endured, "If you keep bugging me, I will break the golden rule and kick you right in the balls."

"Easy Daniel," Jack soothed. "Let's just get you to Frasier."

Daniel yelled, "Where do you think I'm going?"

"Okay, okay," Jack held up his hands, "just go."

He growled, "I am," and marched away in Sam's body still steaming.

Jack let out a sigh of relief, "Thank god Carter doesn't act like that...Holy crap."

Daniel's hearing had also heightened and he turned around midst stride and snorted at him, "The reason Sam doesn't bit your head off is because she has a firm grip over these hormones. Trust me, she wants to shoot you at times," he then turned and swiftly started walking towards the infirmary.

Jack puckered in thought, "Okay then." He then turned to find Sam in Daniel's body, and ask her what she should do about Daniel's period.

**Sam's Lab**

Sam sat in her lab trying to figure out how to reverse the current situation when Jack hurriedly walked into her lab.

"Carter," he stated concerned.

She turned and looked and could tell he seemed a bit winded from walking fast.

Concerned she asked, "Is everything okay?"

He shook his head, "Daniel."

"Is he okay?" she asked fearing unseen side effect.

Jack closed the door behind and him to ensure some privacy. He searched for a gentle way of describing the situation.

"Well, I saw in the hall…He says your period had started and he was going to see Frasier."

She threw him a disheartened look, "You came here just to tell me that. Janet can take care of it."

"He nearly bit my head off," stated Jack. "He had a wad of toilet paper he was using…"

Sam chuckled, "Discovered that trick did he?"

"What?" he asked.

"It's an old school trick for girls. Teenagers don't always remember to come prepared and sometimes you would have to make a pad using toilet paper until you could get a real one. Why didn't he just use the dispenser in the ladies' room and buy a tampon? It's just fifty cents."

"I don't think he knows about it," stated Jack. "He said your hormones were raging he wanted to kick my right in the balls for irritating him. You don't ever have that urge…"

Sam assured, "He's just not used to the hormone fluctuation, sir."

"That's what I thought," nodded Jack, "See ya at dinner, Carter."

She waited for him to leave then muttered, "When I have my period, I want to shoot you with a tazer while you stand in water, sir."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Infirmary**

Daniel marched into the infirmary looking for Janet. She was busy with a patient when she looked up and spotted the look of concern.

"Be right back," she assured the solider and then went to Daniel. She didn't see anything obviously wrong with Sam's body but she knew that looks can be deceiving. "Daniel?" she asked.

"I need to talk to you right now," he stated rather urgently.

"Okay," she replied, "This way," she led him to a private exam room.

Daniel stood instead of sitting on the bed.

Janet asked, "What's wrong?"

"Sam has her period," he gulped.

"Okaay," she tried not to giggle for the expression was of near panic.

"I need your help," he insisted.

She asked, "What do you need?"

"I need something for these awful cramps," he complained. "Can't you give me something to stop this until Sam gets her body back?"

She shook her head, "I can't stop it, Daniel. I can give you something to ease the cramps and the stress. How are you handling it?"

"Not very well," he admitted.

She asked, "Are you wearing a pad or tampon?" she wondered.

"I couldn't find one," he huffed. "I got a hug wad of toilet paper acting as a band aid."

"Okay," she assured, "I'll get you something. I'm sure Sam has supplies in her room…Just ask her where she has it." She motioned, "Come on, I'll get you something for protection and you can use the toilet here."

Daniel followed her to another area where she retrieved some hygiene products from a cupboard.

"Here," she handed him a few items to try.

Daniel looked at the items and then at her.

"It might be easier to use the pad," she instructed. "Just peel and stick into Sam's underwear."

He looked at the tampon and opened the product wondering what it looked like. He stood rather confused just what to do.

Janet stated, "You insert that into the vagina."

His eyes grew wide, "I don't think I want to do that."

She handed him a bunch of pads and shooed him, "Here, take these…They are much easier for you to use. Here's a few extra to get you through the day. And remember to change them regularly so bacteria won't build up."

"What about something for the cramps?" he remained.

"I will call in a script at the base pharmacy," she informed. "It will label it for Sam. Now, go into the bathroom and put a pad on." She nearly shoved him into the room and closed the door. She leaned against the wall and let out a sigh, "This is why men don't have periods."

**Later**

Jack walked back into Sam's lab figuring he was much safer with her than with Daniel. He was wondering if Sam had figured out how to reverse what happened yet.

"Carter," he stated upon entering.

She looked up from her work rather tired, "Sir."

"Anything yet?" he wondered.

She shook her head, "Nothing…How's Daniel doing?"

"Frasier took care of it," he nodded. "She gave him some valium too. He's sleeping right now."

"Really?' she asked, "He needed valium?"

"And a muscle relaxer," he added.

She sighed, "Just buy him a box of chocolate and it will ease up."

Jack asked, "Really? Chocolate?"

She nodded, "Good chocolate too…Not cheap stuff…Something about the cocoa content."

"Good to know," he agreed. He took a seat next to her, "I'll be glad to have you back in your body and Daniel back in his."

"Me too," she agreed.

Jack crossed his arms, "So, it's time you took a break. What do you wanna do?"

She shrugged, "I have no idea."

Jack smirked, "Come on…You're in Daniel's body. Isn't there anything you ever wanted to do to it?"

"Like what?" she wondered.

He shrugged, "I don't know…Get his ears pierced?"

She winced, "Somehow, I don't think he would like that."

Jack retorted, "Come on, Carter. You're in a man's body. You told me yourself you have been fighting your life to be seen as an equal…Now, you are and what do you want to do? Name something you could never do as a woman."

She shrugged and laughed, "I have no idea."

Jack asked, "Wanna go to a bar?"

Sam remarked, "I can do that as a woman."

"Strip bar?" he kidded.

"Not," she huffed. "How about we go out for a nice dinner?" she suggested.

Jack gave a funny look, "Are you kidding? You're in Daniel's body."

"So," she shrugged, "I like steak too."

"Carter…Men don't go out for nice dinners together. You want steak? We go to a bar."

Sam sighed, "I would kind of like to go out for a nice dinner and a movie, sir."

"No way," he shook his head.

"Why not?" she wondered. "We've gone out to dinner and a show before."

"You're a guy now," he informed. "Guys don't do that."

She miffed, "Well, that's what I want. I don't want to go to some bar." She grew more peeved, "Fine, you go to your bar and I will get Janet we will go out to a dinner and movie."

Jack asked, "Let me get this straight…You are gonna take Frasier out to dinner and a movie in Daniel's body?"

She retorted, "Why not?"

He asked, "Isn't that kind of like a date?"

"She's my best friend," she huffed.

Jack rolled his eyes, "Okay, okay…You want dinner and a movie? We will go out for dinner and a movie…Just don't bring Frasier."

"Why not?" she asked annoyed.

"That little power monger?" he retorted, "She will have me pay for everything."

Sam asked, "Aren't you gonna pay for it? You did last time we went to dinner and a movie."

"Daniel's got money…Use his," replied Jack. He then grinned, "You know…He could pay for both of us."

Sam shook her head, "We will go Dutch. I'm not using Daniel's money."

Jack rolled his eyes, "Fine…I'll buy. You can't go around using your bank cards with your name on it in his body anyways."

"I see your point," she agreed.

**Later**

Sam and Jack both changed into civilian clothing to go out to get some dinner and see a movie. It was never considered a date but merely two fiends going out. Though Sam chose a casual restaurant they two did look like two men on a date. They indeed catch glances from the other patrons.

Jack tried not to feel uneasy but from his generation two guys out to dinner in a nice restaurant was basically a date. Daniel would never insist on a nice restaurant if the pair decided to go have a steak dinner. They simply would go to a manlier establishment...Such as a bar. Daniel's mild manner may have given Jack reason to pick on the man but never would Daniel break "guy code" and go on a "date." Only a woman would do such a thing and a woman in Daniel's body, even if it was a woman he thought very highly of, was going to break every code a man lived by. Jack made a major assumption that turned out not to work to his favor. He assumed that since Sam was always a good solider she would make a good guy as well. She simply did not nor did she understand what was expected of her as a man.

When they arrived at the restaurant Sam waited for Jack to open the door and he did not. She waited for him to lead them to the hostess and he did not. She waited for him to allow her to go before him to the table and he did not. All the little gestures were absent and she found she missed that for it was the little gestures that made going out with Daniel or Jack more fun.

After dinner they went to a movie and Sam found Jack slipping her cash to pay her own ticket.

"What's this for?" she wondered.

"You buy your own," he told her.

"Why is this an issue for you?" she wondered.

Jack explained, "Guys don't pay cash for other guys unless it's their family."

"So," she smirked, "I have to purchase my ticket separately because…?"

He flat out told her, "Everyone will think we're gay otherwise."

She scolded, "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard."

"Fine," he handed her more money, "You buy for both of us and see what looks you get."

"I will," she walked up to the box office and smiled, "Two adults please," she asked like she normally would.

Her demeanor in Daniel's body came across as very feminine. The young man behind the counter assumed it was a gay couple and she was very gay man.

He tried not to snicker but obviously he found it funny, "That's nineteen dollars…Sir."

She handed him the money and found it was an odd reaction for whenever she went out with Janet or Daniel to the movies the young men nearly fell over themselves when they interacted with her. They never laughed at her before.

"Thank you," she replied as she took the tickets.

Jack simply stood by and looked at her.

Sam made an excuse, "Just some dumb kid."

"Ah-ha," he grinned. He decided to really lay it out for Sam and started very much like she was indeed a female and then opened the door for her, "After you."

She thought nothing of it and thought perhaps Jack was finally getting over his homophobia and walked inside only to catch some glances from the staff on the other side of the door. She walked up and handed the tickets to the greeter.

He handed her back the stubs and smiled condescendingly, "Enjoy the show."

"Thank you," she replied.

Sam simply didn't understand how she looked from the outside. That her natural tendencies to be a lady shined through and in Daniel's body she came across as an openly gay man. As she walked by she overheard heard to young women working the concessions talking.

"He's cute," one stated.

"Too bad he's gay," another commented.

She was about to walk over and give the two girls a piece of her mind when Jack stopped her.

"Carter," he hollered out. "This way," he motioned.

"Yes sir," she obediently proceeded.

"Pussy whipped," one of the concession stand girls miffed.

Sam did an about face and Jack stopped her. He slipped his arm in her elbow and hauled her back.

"Let it go, Carter," he whispered.

"Those girls need to a good talking too," she insisted.

He guided her back towards the theater hoping to avoid a conflict as Sam found she was in no control of the male hormones that were now raging through the body. She wanted to hit someone and could not say why she was so upset. Normally, she would have laughed such ignorance off but her mind now had to deal with hormones that she simply not used too. She discovered testosterone could be a very aggressive hormone as well.

She tried to calm down, "Sorry sir." She managed to bring it under control. "They really upset me with their attitudes."

"It pisses ya off," he informed. "That's why guys have guy code. So we don't knock someone block off when they act stupid."

She asked, "What's guy code?"

Jack rolled his eyes, "I take it Daniel forgot to fill ya in."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**SGC**

It had been a long day for Janet. Concerned for her friends she went to check on Daniel in Sam's body after her shift was done. She softly knocked on the door and got no answer. Concerned she opened the door and poked her head inside.

Daniel lay asleep in the bed, rolled up like a caterpillar in a cocoon in the sheets. Janet slipped inside to check his vitals. She went to the bed and placed her hand on his back to listen for breathing. Her touch stirred him and he woke up.

"What?" he asked a bit groggy.

She took a seat on the edge of the bed, "It's me Daniel. I'm just checking on you."

"Janet?' he asked.

"Yup," she nodded.

He rolled over and looked up at her in the soft glow of the nightlight. He wondered how long he had been asleep.

"Is it time to get up?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "I just got off work and I thought I would check on you before going to bed."

He asked, "How is Sam doing?"

Janet replied, "She's okay…She went to dinner and a movie with the colonel."

Daniel paused, "She what?"

"Went out to get something to eat and see a movie with Colonel O'Neill," repeated Janet.

Daniel paused for a second, "She's taking my body and going out to eat dinner and see a movie with Jack and I'm stuck her having cramps in hers?"

Janet laughed, "Afraid so."

"This just sucks," he complained.

She asked, "Did the medicine I gave you help?"

He nodded, "Knocked me right out."

"Good," she sighed, "You were freaking everyone out."

"I was freaking out," he admitted. He looked up and asked, "How do you women put with this crap?"

"Wine or chocolate works well," she chuckled. "And men leaving us alone…"

"I never thought it would be that bad," he admitted.

"It's not," she assured. "Just your brain is not used to Sam's chemistry and it's throwing you for a loop. Sam seems to be dealing better with your chemistry but she is also working far more hours too. Maybe she's focusing it?"

He shook his head, "No, working long hours keeps your mind off the person you want to hit."

She asked, "And who is it that you want to hit?"

"Usually Jack," he admitted off hand.

She nodded, "I can sympathize." She patted his hand, "Get some sleep."

Daniel asked, "Can you stay with me?"

"You want me to stay with you?" she asked concerned.

Daniel was still reeling from the hormone flux; he admitted, "I don't want to be alone right now."

"Alright," she agreed and kicked off her shoes and then lay down beside him on the bed.

Daniel covered her up with the blankets and snuggled up next to her; he added, "Thank you."

"Welcome," she assured him.

As Janet lay next to Daniel in Sam's body and pondered to herself. What would she do if they couldn't fix it? The man she adored was in her best friend's body. How would she manage her relationship with both? She simply wanted them back the way they were. She wanted her best friend back and the man who she secretly adored back safe and sound.

**Next Morning**

Sam had purchased some candy for Daniel when she was out the night before. She found she no longer found the sweet as desirable and was rather grateful for otherwise she would have taken the chocolate to the infirmary and eaten the entire box with Janet.

Daniel sat at his table in his lab trying to go over some work but found the medication made him very sleepy. He was tended to just sit a doze off instead of working.

Sam walked into the lab holding the box of candy. She placed it before him and nudged him awake.

"Got ya something," she whispered.

He jolted awake, "What?" He looked up and spotted his face.

"Oh…Sam," he miffed, "how was your movie?"

She admitted, "It's far more fun going out to the movies with you and Janet than the colonel. Tell me about this 'guy code.'"

Daniel asked, "Did you break it?"

She laughed, "You mean there really is such a thing? I thought the colonel was kidding me."

He sighed, "Nope, there is such a thing. You don't go out to really nice places to eat unless you are with a girl or a group. You always act like a gentleman around the ladies…Even if they are rude. Never let a woman pay for your meal. She can pay for her own but that's iffy too. Never speak about what you see in the restrooms. Always act confident even if you have no idea what you are talking about. Always give a firm handshake and look another man in the eye regardless of his stature. Never pick up someone else's kid unless they stay it's okay or it's an emergency…Like the kid just ran into oncoming traffic. Never put yourself in a position where someone can accuse you of sexual assault because the woman is always believed and you are automatically guilty…"

Sam interrupted, "Whoa…What? What do you mean you are automatically guilty? Sexual assault is very serious."

"Yes," he nodded, "and if you are falsely accused…You're screwed. However, if it's another guy who assaulted you…Just don't say anything."

"Why?" she asked amazed.

"Because then you are a wimp," he informed.

"You're kidding," she gasped.

He shook his head, "No guy wants to be accused of it or a victim of it. Always watch your back."

She shook, "And I thought that was bad for women…I never thought of that."

"Always be careful," he instructed. "A false accusation can do more harm than a conviction."

"Wow," she shook her head in disbelief.

Daniel looked at the candy, "So, does this stuff really work?"

"Try it," she grinned.

He opened the box and picked out a piece and ate it. He stood debating the flavors.

"This is a lot creamier than normal," he added.

Sam gave a funny look, "Chocolate is always creamy," she then tried a piece. Suddenly it didn't taste as good. It was far too sweet.

She gulped it down and miffed, "That was my favorite chocolate. Taste awful now."

Daniel informed, "I always found filled candies too sweet. _Clark_ bars wasn't too bad." He took another filled morsel, "Boy this stuff is great. I don't normally like filled chocolates."

"I love'em," she pouted, "Used too anyways. What happened to your taste buds, Daniel? That is very fine chocolate and it should taste wonderful. _Clark_ bars is nothing to write home about," she miffed rather peeved that she couldn't enjoy her favorite treat.

"You're screwed," he chuckled, "wait until the allergies kick in and everything taste like cardboard."

"You're kidding me?" she asked.

"Nope," he grinned. "You're taste buds still work. Wow, I can eat real food and actually taste it now." He asked, "Does macaroni and cheese MRI's taste like chicken to you?"

She shook her head, "No, actually it doesn't and I thought you were making a joke. Boy, your sense of taste is messed up, Daniel."

"What did you eat for dinner last night?" he wondered.

She confessed, "For some odd reason I craving steak."

He nodded, "Actually, I could go for steak now too."

Sam smirked, "Protein shakes help during that time of the month."

"Is that why I see you drinking them…"

She held up a hand, "Yes…And do not tell anyone."

"What about Janet?" he smirked back.

"She knows…Who do think suggested it?" She then looked at her blonde hair and the way he brushed it. She played with the lock, "Don't brush my hair like that…I'm not really liking it."

Daniel miffed, "Actually, I like it better this way." He patted the stomach, "How's the diet going?"

She shrugged, "Not bad," she sat down next to him on a stool and looked upon the body she used to inhabit. She wondered, "What do we do if we can't reverse this, Daniel?"

He sighed, "I don't know. I guess we just life out our lives as each other."

Sam asked, "Would you really want to live out your life in my body? Especially knowing you will have a period every month?"

"Not really," he admitted. "Do you really want to live out your life in body?"

He expected her to claim she could handle it but she did not. She sat silently for a moment.

"I don't think I would want to live out my life as a man. I never realized how many little things you guys do to make us ladies feel special," she admitted, "Guy code really sucks."

"So do your periods," Daniel rebutted.

Sam pondered, "I have to agree…They do suck. But sex is really good."

Daniel puckered in thought, "How could it possibly be good?"

"Well, there that little spot," she hinted.

"There is such a thing?" he asked. "Cause I haven't found nothing like that."

Sam nodded, "It does exist."

Daniel sarcastically replied, "Really? Where?"

"Towards the front," she miffed. "You were married once. Didn't you ever discover what turned your wife on?"

He shrugged, "After being in your body the last two days I was beginning to think she faked it."

Sam scowled, "Okay, then what is wrong with your reproductive organs?"

Daniel made a face, "There is nothing wrong with mine."

Sam scoffed, "Then how come I haven't experienced any of things I heard men go through?"

"Such as?" he asked.

"Spontaneous erections?" she asked. "Or is that a joke of some sort?"

"No," he shook his head, "it happens but it always happens when you don't want it too."

She bragged, "Well, I haven't had any such issues…I guess it doesn't affect the mind of a woman as much as the mind of a man."

Daniel laughed, "Ah-ha, you just wait…You'll see."

Sam shook her head, "Nope, not gonna happen to me and I know why."

"Why?" he asked amused.

"Because I'm not visually attracted to women and that's the trigger, right?" she asked.

Daniel simply laughed.

She assured, "It won't happen to me."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Luckily for Daniel, Sam had a dress uniform on site and he wasn't required to leave the SGC to go to Sam's house to get clothing. He also found the delicate undergarments to wear and with great relief his pain from previous days has subsided.

He had managed to put on all the undergarments including the dreaded pantyhose, without ripping them, and then managed to wear a skirt for the first time in his life. He was doing well and very proud of himself.

Janet agreed to come and apply cosmetics to the face to make him appear more like Sam. He stood in front of the mirror applying the finishing touches. He brushed the blonde locks in a certain fashion.

"I can't believe Sam doesn't like the way I brush her hair," he complained. "I think it looks good this way."

A knock came at the door.

"Come in," he yelled out.

Janet opened the door and stepped inside. She was all dressed in her finest uniform and ready to go the officer's dance which would also host a small awards ceremony.

Daniel smiled, "You look good."

"Thanks," she grinned. "You almost got Sam's body there."

"It's not that hard," he shrugged.

She closed the door and walked over to him and peered about.

"Where is Sam's cosmetic bag?" she wondered.

"Here," he held it up for her.

"Okay," she took the item, "sit down."

He complied and Janet went to work at applying the makeup to the face in the fashion of which Sam would. She wanted to make sure it looked like Sam had done her own makeup and not someone else.

Casually she asked him, "What will you and Sam do if we can't find a way to fix this?"

"Don't know," he muttered. "Live as Sam…I guess."

She wondered, "What will you do if you fall in love with someone?"

Daniel shrugged having no idea much less even considering such a thing; he replied, "No idea…I guess I would be lesbian then."

Janet shook her head, "You can't be a lesbian because you're a man in a woman's body."

Daniel rebutted, "Despite the rumors of me and Jack, I am not attracted to other men. If I am going to be stuck in Sam's body for the rest of my life and I find myself attracted to women…Then…" he motioned with a flip of the hand.

Janet suggested, "But what if a woman who is attracted to you before the accident, who is not attracted to other women, wants you? Does that make her a lesbian?"

"I have no idea," shrugged Daniel.

"Okay," Janet tried to clarify the response. "Let's say…Hypothetically…I was your girlfriend before the accident. You are still Daniel but now you are in Sam's body. Would that make me a lesbian, even though it's Daniel that I want and not Sam?"

Daniel pondered the issue, "I guess so because Sam is female too."

"But I'm not with Sam," she countered.

Daniel sighed, "The only way that could be straight is if Sam's body was male." He then pondered the thought, "If worse comes to worse…Could we do that?"

"Do what?" she asked unsure of his intention.

"Give Sam's body a sex change?" he asked enthused. Suddenly there was an answer to his dilemma if he could not get his own body back he could make Sam's body more acceptable for him.

"Yeah, that could happen but I'm not sure Sam would approve," she chuckled.

Daniel countered, "If this can't be reversed then this is not Sam's body anymore….It's mine. She would have my body to do with as she pleases."

Janet asked, "And how would you feel if Sam did that to your body?"

"I don't think I would make a very pretty girl but it would be her body," he confirmed. His mind started to churn, "I could make this body into a male. Sam has the height and strong facial features."

Janet asked unbelieving, "Do you have any idea what that would require?"

Daniel replied, "No."

"Hormone therapy for testosterone, a double mastectomy and a hysterectomy plus constructive surgery for a penis," she informed. "Are you sure you want to go through all that?"

He thought about the amount of surgery he would require and shook his head, "No…I would rather just my own body back."

"I would rather you had your own body back too," she agreed. She finished up the makeup and stood back. "There, looks just like Sam did it."

"Great," he stood up and then went to put on a pair of shoes. He opened the shoe box and found a pair of high heel black shoes. "Um…"

Janet squirmed, "You have no idea how to walk in those…Do you?"

"Nope," he agreed.

She rolled her eyes, "Please get your body back."

**Meanwhile**

Sam was getting ready in Daniel's body for the big evening dance and ceremony. She found he had a few suits he kept on site and discovered a suit that he never wore. She dug it out of his closet and laid it out on the bed. It was a black pinstripe suite and simply made of the best material.

"We didn't you ever wear this, Daniel?' she wondered. "It's gorgeous." She then went and found a matching shirt and a red tie. She laid out the items and went back to the closet and found black shoes and a pair of spats including a fedora style hat.

"Oh wow, I never you had this," she grinned and placed the items on the bed.

A knock came at the door.

"Come in," she yelled out as she stood in Daniel's underwear and tee-shirt looking over the pinstripe suit.

Jack opened the door and entered. He spotted Sam standing over a suit she had laid out on the bed. He walked over curiously.

"What'cha doing, Carter?" he asked and then glanced down at the suit.

She grinned, "Isn't this the neatest suit. I love it, it's pinstripe with a red tie and look… Spats!"

He mentioned, "Daniel got that for a Halloween costume."

"Halloween costume?" she asked unsure.

"He's going as a gangster," he nodded.

She puckered in thought, "But Halloween isn't for a few months."

"He got on clearance at a costume store that went out of business last year," nodded Jack.

She looked at him, "What?"

Jack grinned, "Didn't you know cheap Daniel is?"

She shook her head, "No, he seems to always buy things for me and Janet."

"Guy code," huffed Jack, "he has too. Notice how he likes to ride in that sports car you got when you all go out and never takes his cheap piece of crap?"

She nodded thinking it was just the appeal of the car.

"Too cheap to use his gas," nodded Jack.

She countered, "You drive a dually…That's not cheap on gas."

"Yeah, you should hear him go at it whenever I take him someplace and have to put gas in," nodded Jack. He pointed to the suit, "As much as I would love to see Daniel show up as an awards ceremony as a gangster…You can't wear that."

"Which suit should I wear then? He had four others and they all look the same basically," she complained finding a complete lack of flare in suits.

Jack informed, "Guys have four suits: a gray suit, a black suit, a brown suit and a blue suit."

She nodded, "That's what he's got…Unfortunately."

He gave a funny look, "What? You wear military uniforms that are blue."

She complained, "That's exactly it, sir. I wear blue uniforms all the time and it gets a little old. I like pretty things and I wanted to wear something really neat for a change. I always have to wear a uniform to a ceremony but this time…I don't. But I might as well if those four suits are my only option."

"Okay," Jack tried to explain, "Black suit is for formal occasions and funerals. Gray suit is for festivals and funerals. Brown suits are for graduations, schools, family photos and funerals. Blue suits are for formal occasions and funerals."

"Everything is for a funeral?" she asked.

Jack nodded, "Any dark color for a funeral…Just don't wear white to a funeral and you're good."

Sam joked, "What about red?"

"Real men don't wear red suits…Or pink suits," he added.

"Pink suits?" she asked never recalling ever seeing one.

Jack assured, "They do exist." He went to the closet and picked out a black suit for her to wear. He laid it out with the white shirt and found a black tie that matched.

"I like the red tie," she informed.

He sighed and rolled his eyes and placed out the red tie.

"So, ties are interchangeable?" she asked.

Jack assured, "You can wear any sucky tie you want. You can wear a Christmas tie and it wouldn't matter."

Sam asked with a smirk, "How about a Christmas tie and a pink suit?"

Jack smirked back, "If you want to get the crap beat out of you…Go ahead."

Sam asked, "You really think someone would attack me for wearing pink suit and a loud tie?"

He nodded, "Yes!" He then pondered, "Unless it's Easter Sunday and then you can get away with it."

She asked, "Are you serious?"

He nodded.

"Okay," she picked up the black trousers and looked at Jack.

"Aren't you gonna give me some privacy?" she asked.

His mouth dropped, "You showered with fifty naked men this morning. Men don't get privacy. Now get dressed."

"Alright," she complained and then slid the trousers over her legs.

Jack rolled his eyes again and went to the dresser and retrieved a pair of sock supports. He tossed them over to her, "Wear these or your socks will bunch up in your shoes."

She looked at the little supporters and rolled her eyes.

Jack huffed, "Don't roll Daniel's eyes at me…Just get dressed, Carter."

"Yes sir," she miffed.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**Officer's Dance**

The ceremony and officer's dance was held on in a base meeting hall. The hall was large enough to house five hundred soldiers. It was decorated with streamers and tables were set up with fine china and white linen table clothes.

A row of tables was used for a buffet and drink service. The base employed the Air Force band for entertainment.

The four sat at one of the many round tables and enjoyed dinner. Then the ceremony presented citations to a few officers including Major Sam Carter. Daniel, in Sam's body filled in and copied Sam's movements that she displayed at previous ceremonies. So far they pulled it off and no one was the wiser that Sam and Daniel had switched bodies.

Soon the dancing started and things were about get awkward. Sam and Janet could easily dance with one another for women were far more apt to simply enjoy the moment without worrying about appearance.

Two men dancing together would certainly turn heads but on the outside the dance consisted of Sam's body sharing a dance with Jack and Daniel's body sharing a dance with Janet Frasier. In reality it was the girls dancing with one another and Jack dancing with Daniel.

Jack miffed, "Will let me lead."

Daniel huffed, "You try dancing in high heels."

"You are a pain in the ass, Daniel," he muttered.

Daniel huffed, "Dance in high heels…You'll know what a pain in the ass is."

Jack asked, "Just act like Carter."

"I'm trying too," he argued.

Jack smirked, "So, Daniel's nemesis is high heels."

Daniel huffed, "Have you seen the spikes on these shoes?"

Jack shook his head.

"You will when I stab you the eye with one," warned Daniel.

Jack asked, "Are you still having your period, Daniel?"

He growled, "Actually it stopped."

"Ah," Jack pondered. "Did you ever…You know?"

"Know what?" he asked.

"Check Carter out?" he wondered.

Daniel stopped the dance, once again Jack had had angered him and he didn't know what came over him as he suddenly slapped Jack in the face.

He then growled, "Never ask that again," he turned and stormed out of the hall.

Sam had been dancing with Janet and noticed Jack get slapped along with Janet.

"Oh boy," stated Janet. "That doesn't look good."

Sam asked, "Did Daniel just slap the colonel?"

She nodded, "And how. Ya, know…If Daniel was born a woman I don't think he and the colonel would get along very well."

Jack stood shocked, he slowly made his way over to the girls dancing and asked Sam, "can you go check on Daniel. He's kind of mad at me."

"What happened?" she wondered.

He shrugged, "I tested him like you asked."

Sam smirked, "I'll take care of it." She released her grip on Janet's hand and went after Daniel.

Janet then started to dance with the colonel; she asked, "What happened?"

"Sam wanted to make sure Daniel was looking after her body," he informed.

"He's doing fine," she rebutted. "He got made because you asked him if he was taking care of her?"

"I asked him if she checked her out," he laughed.

Janet pondered, "Did you ask him that because you are curious or because you were testing him?"

"Playing with him a bit," admitted Jack.

Janet warned, "I would have slapped you too."

Sam found Daniel sitting outside. He was crying and she had never seen him cry before.

"Daniel?" she asked.

"Hey Sam," he sniffed.

"You okay?" she asked.

He nodded, "I will be if I can get your hormones under control."

Sam asked, "What did he say to you?"

"He wanted to know if I had checked your body out," he informed.

She puckered in displeasure, "He asked you that?" She sat down on the cement block next to him.

"Thing is," admitted Daniel, "guys ask each other that kind of stuff all the time and it never really bothered me before. This time…I just went right through the roof. It was asking if I had checked out my sister's body. I wanted to hit him."

"I would want to hit him if he asked me that too," she miffed. "Why do men say stupid things like that?"

Daniel pondered, "It's ego…You know…To prove to the other guys who are all judging you that your are as manly as they are."

"Guys judge each other?" she asked.

Daniel asked, "Don't women? I saw some of that in the ladies' room. Especially when it comes to looks."

"Guys can be judgmental when comes to looks too," she rebutted.

"I know," he agreed. "You know how makeup came about? I researched it and started a hypothesis."

"How?" asked Sam.

"The Goa'uld," he informed.

Dumbfounded she asked, "What?"

"It started in ancient Egypt, under the Goa'uld. We all know how vain they are. You see the royalty believed they were children of the gods. Thus, they needed to be set apart from everyone else. So, they started adorning themselves with gold, fine clothing, lifting themselves up. They even wore wigs. To make their faces seem more godly and less human, they wore makeup and cosmetics. People in the royal court started to mimic it as a status symbol. For a very long time only the elite wore makeup and when the people rose in wealth and power they adopted the use of cosmetics for the women to mimic the royalty…And in essence…Mimic a false god."

Carter asked, "Do you mean to tell me every time I wear makeup, I'm paying tribute to a false god?"

He nodded, "Unfortunately…And the people adopted beauty as a standard of measurement and to be held up as an idol and worshipped. The cosmetic industry can thank the Goa'uld for their success."

Sam huffed, "I could have lived out the rest of my life not knowing that."

"Sorry," Daniel replied.

"Feeling better?" she asked.

He nodded, "Yeah."

"Let's go back inside," Sam took Daniel by the hand and led him back inside.

They found Jack and Janet both sitting at the table.

Sam suggested, "Take Janet to the restroom with ya…I want to talk to the colonel."

Daniel couldn't help but wonder, "Is that why women have gang peeing sessions?"

Sam shot him a look, "I've seen the men's room…You guys have gang peeing sessions too."

"I'll get Janet," he replied and went to his other friend, "Come with me, Janet," he then shot a look to Jack, "Sam has a few words for you." They left and Sam took a seat next to Jack.

Sam looked at Jack and waited for him to say something.

He leaned over, "So, did you check Daniel's body yet?"

"Why did you ask?" she retorted.

He whispered back, "Everyone is thinking it. I'm the one who is stupid enough to ask it."

"You know…Even if I did…I wouldn't tell you," she replied rather sly.

"Good enough," he agreed. He then started to worry but wouldn't say why.

"Something wrong?" she asked.

He shook his head rather quiet.

She noticed the sudden quietness and wondered just what Jack was concerned about.

**Next day, briefing room**

Jack sat in a private briefing with General Hammond. The two men discussed the night before.

"So, how did the experiment go, Jack?" asked Hammond.

He shook his head, "We are losing them. We need to find a way to reverse this before it's too late."

"How do you figure we are losing them?" asked Hammond.

Jack explained, "I asked Daniel if he checked out Carter's body and he went all girly and slapped me…It's what Frasier feared…The hormones are starting to change the brain. When I asked Carter if she checked out Daniel's body she gave me a sly look and said she would never tell…Like a guy. The male hormones are affecting her brain. If we don't find a way to reverse this, it will turn Carter into Daniel and Daniel into Carter."

Hammond assured, "I got word to Thor…The Asgard are on their way to help reverse this. They assured me it can be done and rather quickly."

"But can they get here before it's too late?" he asked concerned to be losing his best friend and a very important woman in his life.

"I certainly hope so," Hammond agreed.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Janet Frasier sat with Sam in her lab as Sam essentially gave up ever trying to get the ancient device responsible for her current situation to work. From the outside it appeared as of Janet was speaking to Daniel but only a few knew the truth.

Janet wondered, "What will you do if you are stuck like this, Sam?"

She shrugged, "I have no idea. Live my as Daniel, I suppose."

"Daniel pondered having surgery to change your gender if it couldn't be reversed," she informed.

Sam gave a funny look, "What? Change my gender?"

"Physically change your body to male," Janet stated, "Would you do the same?" she wondered.

Sam puckered in thought, "I don't know. What would I have to go through to do that?"

Janet informed, "Hormone therapy, breast implants, shaving the Adams apple down and complete removal of male reproductive organs. We could make you a vagina but you would never be able to have kids. Same with Daniel, once those organs are removed there goes any change of having biological children." She then pondered, "But those kids wouldn't really be yours anyways…They would be Daniel's kids."

Sam wrinkled her nose, "That sounds like a lot of work."

Janet agreed with a nod, "Not to mention male bodies are much harder to hide the masculine features…Such as large hands, height, rougher looking skin, strong facial features."

Sam miffed, "I think it would be easier if I was just gay."

Janet wondered, "And who would be gay for, Sam?"

"If the right man came along," she assured. Her mind wondered off for a second in private thought of a certain colonel she fancied.

Janet admitted, "For Daniel…I would become a lesbian."

Sam came out of her fantasy with a shake of the head, "You what?"

Janet admitted, "Daniel is only man I know that would actually convert women to be lesbians if he becomes stuck as a woman."

Sam pondered, "He's good looking man but…Really? In my body?" She leaned forward and asked, "You have a thing for him…Don't you?"

Janet nodded. "A little bit."

Sam asked, "Does he know?"

She shook her head, "I never told him. Please, keep this between us, Sam. I could make thing awkward between me and Daniel if he knew."

Sam gasped, "But you just said you were willing to go against your own natural instincts to be with him."

"And he doesn't need to know that," she insisted.

Sam smirked, "If we get back to normal will you tell him then?"

"Can that be done?" she asked.

"Anything is possible," Sam assured even though she didn't know how.

Janet agreed, "Okay…But only if you find a way to reverse this. I love ya dearly, Sam but I am not too fond of the idea of sleeping with your body."

"I'm not too fond about that idea either," she agreed with a shiver.

Jack then entered the room looking very cheery, "Carter…Frasier," he greeted.

"Sir," replied Sam. She then made a very odd face as the body she occupied seemed to behaving strangely.

"Great news," he grinned, "Thor will be here in a few hours."

Janet sounded relived, "He can help?"

"Says it's no big deal and can be reversed," he grinned.

Sam sat unusually quiet.

"Anything wrong, Carter?" asked Jack.

She shook her head, "No sir." She then replied, "That's great news, sir."

"I'm gonna go tell Daniel next. Wanna come?" he asked.

She shook her head, "Nope…I'll stay right here."

Jack gave a very strange look and stated, "Ookaay."

She reached for a viable excuse, "I have work to finish."

"Alright," he nodded believing the excuse and walked back out of the office happy the nightmare was nearly over.

Janet looked at Sam's blushing face; she could help but ask, "What's wrong?"

"I can't believe that happened to me," she miffed.

"What?" asked Janet.

She blushed, "You heard the jokes about guys getting an erection at the worst possible time."

She nodded and asked, "You had that happen to you?"

"Just now," she winced.

Janet laughed, "Is that why you wouldn't get up from behind the table?"

"It's not funny," she scolded. "It's really embarrassing."

Janet assured, "It's perfectly normal." 

She huffed, "It never happened before and I have been in his body for over three days now."

"What do you think triggered it?" asked Janet.

"I don't know," she admitted. "Maybe it's a reaction to the news that Thor is coming to help?"

Janet smirked, "It could be…But, we all gotta admit the colonel is a good looking guy."

Sam shrunk in embarrassment and pleaded, "Please don't tell the colonel or Daniel what just happened."

Janet chuckled, "Yes, I can see my report now: 'Major Samantha Carter reported having an erection after speaking to Colonel O'Neill.'"

"It's not funny," she huffed. "It really is embarrassing."

Janet suggested, "Maybe Daniel's body is trying to tell you something?"

"Such as?" she muttered.

Janet's warped sense of humor shined through, "Think of it as a compass pointing north."

"Stop it," she snorted. "This is really embarrassing for men. It should not be made into a joke all the time."

"Okay, okay," agreed Janet. "I understand." She then sat and smiled to herself.

"What?" asked Sam.

Janet grinned, "Maybe it's the colonel's body you want to check out and not Daniel's?"

Sam scolded, "Very funny. You're just lucky this didn't happen to you." Sam then smiled, "What would you have done if you and colonel had switched bodies?"

Janet grinned, "The first thing I would do is get his ears pierced."

Sam gave a funny look, "Why?"

"To piss him off," she admitted.

Sam went back to Jack suggesting to have Daniel ears pierced as a joke. She then suddenly realized that if the colonel and Janet had switched bodies it would have soon degraded into a competition of who could do the most embarrassing thing to the other.

"You and the colonel are too much alike," she informed. "No wonder you're always butting heads."

Janet pondered, "Yeah, I would get his ears pierced and he would give me a Mohawk in return. You and Daniel pledge to take care of each other but…Somehow…I don't see that happening if it was me and the colonel."

Sam nodded, "I agree."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**Thor's Ship**

Thor had arrived and beamed Sam, Daniel, Jack and Janet up to the ship. Needless to say Jack was very happy to finally see an end to the situation.

"Thor, ol'buddy," greeted Jack.

Thor stood at the controls of the vessel and moved his large head as he spoke, "Good day, General O'Neill. It is good to see you once more."

"Same here," he cheered. "Carter and Daniel need your help…"

"I am aware of the situation," Thor informed. He started to push buttons before him.

Daniel, still in Sam's body admitted, "Boy am I glad you're here…I was beginning to think I was turning into Sam."

"Why would you assume such a situation, Dr. Jackson?" asked Thor.

"I was beginning to think like a female," he admitted.

Sam assured, "That's okay, Daniel…I was turning into you."

"You were not," informed Thor. "Your minds needed some time to adjust to the hormone levels but you have adjusted."

Daniel disagreed, "No, I was starting to like things women like…Chocolate for example."

Thor replied, "Preferences in taste is up to the individual…You liked the sweet dues to Major Carter's taste receptors. It's purely physical."

He admitted, "I got mad and slapped Jack."

Thor replied, "Anger is a normal human emotion. Perhaps, you wished to have slapped him before."

Daniel argued, "I'm stuck in a woman's body…I started to think like one."

Thor suggested, "Perhaps, your mind was adapting to your society by taking on a more famine persona due to your unusual circumstance."

Daniel pondered, "A defense mechanism? My brain decided that since it was in a female body it must now be female?"

Thor replied, "No, your brain decided to become more feminine due to your societies expectations of gender and division."

Daniel arched an eyebrow, "Oh…That makes sense."

Jack suggested, "I guess the Asgard don't really need to worry about that."

Thor replied, "We lost our gender identify when we lost the ability to reproduce. The Asgard simply chooses how to be identified by actions and persona rather than physical bodies. Bodies are simply a vessel."

Jack stated, "But…Aren't you a guy, Thor?"

"I am Asgard," he informed. "We allow other races that are not as advanced to assume we identify as males. Asgard are simply…Asgard."

"So," Jack pondered, "You just see yourselves as Asgard and no real genders?"

"That is correct," he suggested.

Daniel smiled, "Wouldn't it be nice if we just simply saw ourselves as humans?"

Thor agreed, "Indeed, but your race is still too immature to achieve such goals."

Daniel puckered and nodded, "Yup."

Jack asked, "Can you fix them?"

Thor replied, "I am ready to start the procedure. Dr. Jackson and Major Carter…Please stand on the blue circle."

A luminescent blue circle suddenly appeared on the floor. They walked over and stood side by side. Thor started the procedure and a light engulfed the pair for a matter of seconds and then dissipated. The blue circle disappeared and the floor went back to normal.

Daniel looked at Sam's body and knew it worked. With his back turned towards Jack, he grinned and gave her a wink.

Jack approached them with Janet on his heels.

"Did it work?" he asked.

Daniel took on the most feminine pose he could muster and swiftly turned towards Jack. He then started to pretend he was Sam.

"Sorry, sir…But it appears we are stuck this way," stated Daniel.

Sam tried very hard not to laugh for his impression of her was very funny. She added to the ruse.

"Looks like this is it, Jack."

Thor knew from his reading they were back to normal and thus faking the failure but decided to not inform Jack because he was curious as to what Sam and Daniel were doing.

Janet exhaled, "Oh no…It's too late to fix it."

Daniel gleamed at Jack, "Sir, since I'm stuck in the body for the rest of my life I must do this," he then grabbed Jack's head and kissed him hard and sloppy on the lips.

Jack then realized he was Daniel and pushed him back, "Dimmit, Daniel…You son of a…" he looked at Sam, "You played along with it, Carter?"

She shrugged, "I did, sir."

Janet exhaled, "You two were kidding us?"

"Daniel's idea," she informed ever so glad to be back in her own body. She looked at her friend, "Thank you for taking good care of me, Daniel."

Daniel smiled back, "Thank you for taking good care of me."

Jack huffed, "Don't ever kiss me again, Daniel."

Daniel laughed and shrugged.

Sam wondered, "Is kissing another man a serious break of 'guy code?'"

Daniel shook his head, "No."

Jack filed her in, "A man can kiss another man under three circumstances."

"What's that?" she wondered.

"To get even, the kiss of death or if they are gay," he added.

Janet laughed, "Was that the kiss of death?"

"He was getting even with me," he snorted.

Daniel assured, "You'll get the kiss of death this Halloween."

Jack smirked, "Sam found your gangster costume."

"Oh, what did ya think?" he asked with a grin.

"It looks really nice," she admitted.

Janet asked confused, "Gangster costume? What costume?"

Sam explained, "He has a Halloween costume in his closet on base."

Janet looked at him and asked, "Why?"

"I was having it dry cleaned," he explained.

"On base?" she asked.

"Yeah, I save fifty cents by having it done on base," he admitted.

"Told ya," miffed Jack to Sam.

Janet suggested, "You're quite the miser."

Daniel shook his head, "I prefer the term 'frugal.'"

Sam whispered to Janet, "Don't you have something to tell him?"

"Later," she whispered back.

Thor interrupted, "I am ready to send you back home."

"Good," cheered Jack, "beam us down, Scotty."

Thor couldn't wait to get rid of the troubling humans and quickly beamed them back down to earth. He shook his oversize head much like a disappointed parent.

**SGC**

Sam and Daniel were just happy to be back in their own lives once more. Their ordeal behind them and their futures were bright. Daniel sat in Sam's lab chatting with her about their experience.

"I will never ever take what you do for granted again, Sam," promised Daniel.

Sam smiled, "And I will never take you for granted either. I also swear, the next time I hear some women telling stupid guy jokes, I will shut them up."

"Same if I hear more women jokes," promised Daniel.

Sam admitted, "You know, in a way I'm glad I got to live life as a guy for a short time. I never realized how much you guys do for us and we tend to take it all for granted."

Daniel nodded, "I never realized how much crap women have to put up with."

Sam countered, "You put up with a lot of crap too, Daniel."

"Mainly Jack's crap," he agreed.

Sam wondered, "Did, Janet ever say anything to you?"

He pondered in thought, "No…Why?"

"Just wondering," she miffed rather disappointed.

Jack then walked into her lab and looked about; he stated, "Carter…We're moving the device to storage now."

Sam asked, "Right now?"

He nodded, "I want that thing secured."

"Okay," she looked at Daniel, "Can you give me a hand lifting?"

"Sure," he went to help her move the heavy artifact.

Jack waved his hands, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you two doing? No…I'm not taking a chance on this happening twice. Carter, move back."

Daniel stated, "Jack, it's too heavy for one person to lift."

"Fine," he walked over and touched the device and accidentally activated it. Jack forgot all about that ancient gene and never thought about how he could activate long dead devices. The device flashed and then Jack looked up and spotted his own face staring back.

Daniel, now in Jack's body huffed, "Not again!"

Jack, now in Daniel's body looked at Sam, "Carter…Get Thor on the phone…Now."

Sam stood back and her eyes grew wide, "Oh no…It didn't?"

"It did," insisted Jack.

"I'll get Thor," she assured and quickly left to the control room.

Jack looked at his body and then realized he felt so much better in the younger body. He puckered in thought.

"My knees don't hurt," he stated.

Daniel felt a crack of the knee and the twitch of the back, "Jack," he straighten up and placed his hand on the hip, "your joints suck."

He nodded, "Yeah…They do."

Jack felt the face, "Wow, I fell like half my age."

Daniel huffed, "Quit it. Sam will get Thor back and we can fix this."

Sam then ran back to the lab, "I spoke to Thor!"

Daniel exhaled with relief, "When will he be back?"

"Not for three days," she explained. "He had an emergency to tend to."

Jack huffed, "This is an emergency."

She shrugged, "I know but Thor thinks it can wait."

Daniel huffed, "I'm stuck in Jack's body for the next three days?"

Jack grinned, "I get to Daniel's body for the next three days?" His mind started to churn of all the things he ever wanted to do to Daniel.

Daniel glared at him, "Don't you dare!"

"Dare what?" asked Jack innocently. He found all his aches and pains had gone away and in the younger body he felt rejuvenated.

Daniel on the other hand felt popping and cracking of joint pain but what he feared most was Jack and what do to his life. He would have access to his bank account and knowing how much Jack hated Daniel's frugalness…He feared how much he would spend.

Jack smiled and placed his hands in his pockets and licked Daniel's lips in anticipation; he smirked, "Try to keep up old man," as he walked out the lab ready to do battle.

Daniel huffed, "Old man! You're the old man…Bring my body back."

The End


End file.
